Why I Voted For Obama (Satire)

By Aharon HaCohen

I voted for Barack Obama because I was inspired by his message of hope and change, and I can't wait to see his policies of change implemented.

I voted for Obama because I believe in Socialism. I've had enough of free-market capitalism and the land of opportunity for those who work hard.With Obama, we will finally be able to "spread the wealth".

I voted for Obama because I want us to be a country which judges people by the color of their skin. I believe in Black Liberation and would like to see black-skinned people ruling over the evil whites.

I voted for Obama because I admire people like Reverened Jeremiah Wright, his spiritual adviser. We must hold the Jews,the Zionists, and the evil White conspirators - who carried out 9/11 and spread AIDS among black people - accountable.May the Holy Reverend baptize all of us in the spirit of antisemitism and black supremacism as he did with Obama's kids, and may we all be married by him as he married Barack and Michelle.

I voted for Obama because I hate the evil Zionists and would like to see Israel wiped off the map.I support the PLO and its agenda of destroying Israel "piece by piece", which is why I am so proud of Obama's friend former PLO spokesman Rashid Khalidi, as well the advice he will get from terrorist sympathizers like Jimmy Carter and Samantha Power.

I voted for Obama because I support the global 'Revolution' started by people like William Ayers in the 1960's, and I think we must use any means possible to overthrow the evil capitalist regimes.I am so proud of Obama for kicking off his Illinois campaign in the famous domestic terrorist's home.

I voted for Obama because I hate babies.We have too many children popping out all over the country. We must do anything possible to stop this epidemic, and we must promote abortion at any point in the pregnancy. I am proud of Obama who doesn't want "to punish his daughter with a child", and refused to give in to those crazy people who believe in life. As the Messiah himself proclaimed, standing up for life is "above my pay grade".

I voted for Obama because I want a different kind of politics. I don't like politicians like John McCain or Sarah Palin who try to limit wasteful spending in government. I want a leader like Obama who will take as much money as possible from the people and just throw it around aimlessly. I am so proud of the way he raised so many hundreds of millions in his campaign and just gave it all to the media for endless advertising. All the money really went to good use for the benefit of the people.

I voted for Obama, because I don't want a President who is bound to his word. Words aren't really important, anyways. It was brilliant of him to lie to AIPAC about not dividing Jerusalem and pledging to use public financing. Of course, he didn't intend to keep those promises. We need a President who tells people what they want to hear. But when it comes to policy, of course he is going to divide Jerusalem and use private money in his campaign. Thats the kind of leadership we need.

I voted for Obama because I don't care about laws or constitutions. Its trivial whether he was born in Honolulu or in Kenya. Who cares if his birth certificate is authentic, or if he arrived here as an illegal immigrant? All that matters is that he he has been anointed to redeem the world. We must put aside all the laws of the past, and embrace theis great man. He is God's anointed, So who are the Founding Fathers to object? Just because he may not be a natural-born citizen? Get real.

Most importantly, I voted for Obama because he will change the world. Its about time that the US make it clear that we will never stand up to evil in this world again. If Ahmedinejad wants to build a nuclear bomb and attack Israel, its okay. We must be tolerant of other country's views.We can sit down and talk to him, and be more understanding and compassionate. I hope he applies the same policy towards Bin Laden and Al-Qaeda, as well as Hamas and Hezbollah.We need to embrace people of all walks of life, regardless of who they wish to kill and destroy. Under the united kingdom of His Highness Barack Hussein Obama this world is going to be a better place, and if this entails embracing the spreading of the Islamic Caliphate, let it be. It's all for a good cause.



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